Why am I so bad?

I ask myself this question. Often it is after I have given into temptation or fallen back into my old sinful ways. I am a sinner and there's is not doubt about it, but I will put in all the effort I possibly can to not fall back. This determination is there but I sometimes ask myself "what right do I have?" I have fallen back and I am coming back again on my knees again. How many times has it been? even I am sick of myself. I sometimes think if I could have the ability to sin taken away from me or if the desires of my flesh were taken away from me it would be so much better. I wouldn't have to struggle against my flesh daily and go about God's work peacefully; but then again, since God did do that to us there must be a reason; one that helps us actually. I just don't know what it is at the moment.

I cry because I know I am selfish. I cry because I know that I fall back into sin so often I deserve death. I desperately want to follow but I still find it hard. It shows that I still have a long way to grow, and I keep pursuing that growth despite knowing that I will never reach it for as long as I live.

I pray that God can break my heart for the things His heart breaks for; and that my thoughts are guided by Him.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"

Matthew 26 : 41

God. Jesus. Holy Spirit. WHO ARE THEY?

In the world of Christianity you hear about these three quite often but as a new Christian or someone who hasn't been around Christianity or if you just haven't thought about it much you might ask yourself "who the heck are these guys?" or "what's their deal?" and understandably so. You can't just jump into something that you don't know.

So here's the deal. We'll get to know a little more about the gospel, read the Bible and see what it's all about for yourself and then you can choose by yourself, for yourself to follow Christ or not. Give it a shot.

Pleases Note: It's not going to be all boring read-a-book-with-no-pictures kind of thing. there will be more than just reading because there's no one right way to get to know God. So you'll always have a way to find Him through other mediums such as music, movies, animation, etc... the list goes on.

Firstly let's start on a clean slate and forget everything that society tells you about Christianity and let's turn to what the "handbook" says; by this I mean the Bible because that's what the Christian faith is based on.

Why am I telling you to look into a Bible already?

Well, in this stage (let's get the definitions straight); by looking at the Bible you will be able to:

1. The definition of what it is to be a Christian is found in the Bible. So you'll be able to tell whether people who call themselves Christians are really saying what they know or twisting it to their own advantage.

2. Who God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are, is found in the Bible.

3. You will start being more aware of what exactly is going wrong in the world.

When studying about God, it is super important not to just accept information at face value because countless times people twist the words or meaning of scripture, so it is important that you do your own research and look at the scripture and it context for yourself (just to be sure).

You might think that with all this looking is it worth it? The answer is "yes" because there has been a promise given to us by God which is ["So I say to you "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened." (Luke 11:9) ]. So certainly if the creator of the heavens and earth says that to you it will be delivered, but often it never comes in the package that we expect so some people (who don't fully trust) get disheartened quickly. Trust the process.

The next thing were going to do is try and find out who Jesus was, of which you may as "and why look at Jesus first and not God or the Holy Spirit?"

Well that is pretty simple:

1. Jesus was actually here on earth with us before; and there is so much evidence from both Christians and non-Christians that Jesus did in fact exist and lived on earth with us. So Jesus is the closest clue we can grab.

2. Related to the first point, In scripture it says [Jesus answered, "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)]. With that said, let's go through Him first.

In order to to now get who Jesus was we need to find out who He was, what He did, etc... and so in order to do this, I personally find the book of Luke to be the best place to start.

Why the book of Luke?

Luke was a doctor and so had though observation and analysis skills and this is exactly what the book of Luke is. At the start of it he even mentions how it is a summary and recheck of the several accounts that had already been written about Jesus, thus, the book of Luke has a bit of everything that you need to know about the life of Jesus, from His Birth to His death.

How was Jesus born?

Read Luke 2 for Jesus' birth and an account of His early life (12 years old).

NOTE: With that said, as you begin your journey remember that God draws closer to people who draw near to Him. (James 4:8)